Agility3R Blog

Happy Father's Day to all those sons and fathers out there.

I'd like you to consider the two or three most important lessons your father has taught you. Even if your father was not a Hallmark card--we can learn so much even from our parent's mistakes. Whether you like it or not; whether you admit it or not--you are the way are today as a result of your father's influence. Take some time and write down the wisdom you have gained.

Every adult at the age of 30, 50, and 70 should take time to make observations about life. Our experience of reality changes as we have time to reflect and mature. I am sure I will gather more experience and wisdom from this point forward; however, my role today and with you is to capture my current thought, experience, and what wisdom I have been grated thus far.
I cannot discuss my professional life with you without telling you who I am. I cannot tell you who I am without telling you where I came from. So I’ll begin at the beginning with hopes that you’ll forgive myself indulgence. My intent is to be as transparent and raw as possible so that I might free you to do the same. After all, my life doesn’t matter to you; but I know your life matter to you. My life experience might just give you access and permission for you to discover your own.
I , like many children, was born in the way. My father wanted to be a doctor and worked two jobs just to go to night school. He was brilliant and capable. In his imagination he was going to find a cure for cancer in the beginning and cure for AIDS in the end. He loved information; he loved research. He didn’t have time for life, love, or children. So, I was a terrible inconvenience. My mother had been a musician and an artist. And like most mentally ill people didn’t have her first psychotic episode until she was in her late teens-19. The story I was told was that giving birth to me was the cause. Not directly-she lost so much blood that her body went into shock. She was hospitalized for the first time “because of me.”
Please keep reading, I am not trying to make you pity me. I just want you to know why this is an important part of the story. I was raised between parents and grandparent depending on what my father was studying and where my mother was hospitalized. I know they tried to put me up for adoption, but they couldn’t “let me go” so the story goes. I of course, have this fantasy life of how amazing and wealthy and loving my adoptive parents would have been. From my side of the story, I wished they could have had the courage to let me go. Because they “Let me go” without any parents. I was in the way and inconvenient and wanted so long as I didn’t interrupt life.
When I was eight years old was the first time I remember being “conscious.” I started a journal, began writing, noticed the difference between right and began make choices. My first choice was a declaration I made to an audience of six stuffed animals and three dolls all lined in a circle. “ I am going to take good care of you, I declared. In fact, I am going to save the world.” I said this with grace, confidence, poise, and determination well beyond my years.
This is where you fit in. Through writing this book, I am keeping the promise I made as an eight year old. I didn’t know the word “global’ at that time, but as a thirty-eight year old. I do no the world “global.” My desire is to make global impact and make the world a better place. I am not talking to stuffed animals and dolls. I am talking to adult individuals with power and influence—adults who can make a difference. Let my life’s lessons enable you to ask similar questions and discover what in you was your “survival” strategy and how has it served you?
How are you keeping promises that you made to your eight year old self?

Gifts from my father:

Now I didn’t do justice to my father with the intro. He was brilliant.
There are two gifts he gave me that are important here.
First, the appreciation and love for knowledge.
Our home was always full of books and he read probably four hours a day. I thought the more you read the smarter you became so I began reading, reading, reading. In third grade I won my first contest because I read more books than anyone else in the entire school. I was reading for salvation, too, having read the entire bible form Genesis to Revelations by the time I was twelve. After college, I read and still read a business book a month. Two hundred and sixteen books – 43,200 pages sometimes absorbed, sometimes disputed, and always highlighted and catalogued. You might think, that is not that many books-I ask you how many books have you read since your last college class? Even in the age of mp3 players, ipods, webcasts-the most influencing and wealthy people I meet are always well read.
Note to self? How can you read more? I guarantee a 10% increase in your in your income within a year if you simply make that a new habit.
Thanks, Dad, I appreciate how much I learned about valuing education and the discipline required to be a scholar. If this book ever gets published, it will certainly be dedicated to you. And in my dreams and thought these tears as I write-I am going to imagine you proud of me – at last.

Second gift from my father:

Second, understanding about the fragility of life.
We all know we are going to die. My father made me understand this first hand when I was twenty-four. He died in a car accident when he was forty-four. I shared with you before just a bit about my mother’s mental illness. Because of her mental illness, she had three major suicide attempts by the time I was ten. I am chuckling as I write this because I used the phrase “major”—what the heck is a minor suicide attempt? She was so fragile. Forgive me for my lack of humanity, but I would pray that she would succeed because it was hard to face the next “attempt”. Would you rather have as scab or a scar? Because a scab keeps on bleeding . . . Anyway, I was completely prepared to accept her passing. My father was a rock- impenetrable, unemotional, every present and solid—like a rock. I had nothing in me prepared for his death. He was that force I resisted. They have a saying in Wyoming that if the wind stops blowing all the cows will fall down. I had to face that I was only standing up because I was resisting the force that was my father. And when the wind stopped, I fell.
Growing up with a mother who might die at any moment and facing a father’s death literally head-on was an incredible gift to me. I really got clear that we have only one life to life. I began working on legacy the day he died. Because if I in fact my life could be over that quickly, I wanted to feel as if that life—no matter how brief—made a difference to others. Many people have these theories about age cycles and when people should address “legacy.” It is limiting notion. No matter how old you are reading this—my hope is that some readers are in their teens and some readers are in their eighties. Regardless. Stop reading and write the questions somewhere meaningful:

If I die tomorrow, what is my essential message and what are three pieces of wisdom I want my friends, children, family to learn from my life?

As I was driving to my office today I noticed a large billboard for a local college's Masters in Marketing Strategy degree. It made me think, if only individuals would pay more attention to their current customer base they would learn all that they need to know to stay current and "on relevance" to their customers and be better able to anticipate future spending and lifestyle habits of their customers. Each person has 1440 minutes a day--what are your customers doing with all of their time when they aren't purchasing from you? Living their life.

What age are their kids?
What age are their parents?
What television programs are they watching?
What magazines are they subscribing to?
What car do they drive?
Where do they live?
What do they wear?

You customers are telling you a ton of information about who they are and who they wish they were? What their greatest fears and what their greatest source of pride comes from.
Rather than get a degree with philosphy and knowledge--pay more attention to YOUR macroenvironmental world.

There is today an informal economy being built by consumers who get together because of hobby, special interest, or passion. The more you track companies like elephant design the more you can become aware of how companies are creating user groups for their customers. Beyond customer advisory boards, many companies are now having customers help finish products, design utilization for products, and make commercials for products. If you are in a book too long you will miss RELEVANCE.

If you are going to read a book about this information, please read Hidden In Plain Sight and Blue Ocean Strategy. Both books will ask you what I am going to ask you.

Pay attention,
Jenn

Two

Always, always keep great records of the individuals you know and look for ways to continue adding value. It is often said that we are six degrees of separation from everyone we need to know in our lifetime. Today the ratio is probably 2 degrees of separation.

We live in a global village. Now more than ever, people are literally connected to everyone on the planet. It is an exciting time in history. One of my big lessons learned was to care deeply about everyone I am around. My mistake was that I was at a TEC (the executive committee) conference and I ended up sitting with Brian Tracy. Who is Brian Tracy? At that time I didn’t know who he was either. I found an older gentleman that I found self absorbed and boring. Sorry, Brian, that is the truth. I was in my early thirties and also self absorbed and boring. Anyway, I blew Brian off completely. Two years later I was listening to a set of audio tapes about reaching my potential and low and behold—Brain Tracy was the speaker. His wisdom was profound. And I had a million questions I wished I had asked him when I was next to him. I was alone with him by myself for over an hour. People pay $10,000 for 1 hour of his time, he gets paid up to $100,000 for a sales presentation and I had it for free and flushed down the toilet.

A younger version of me would have asked him to be more remarkable—meaning if he was really that good I should sit next to him and know how powerful he was just by being around him. A wiser version of myself now knows that we are always sitting among people we take for granted and underestimate. Since that time I always keep a note pad and paper with me and track people that I meet on Google and keep a record of the people I meet. My personal network is powerful because I know people are like geodes—individuals may look like a typical rock on the outside but have wisdom wealth and power on the inside. May you never, never ever again underestimate anyone whom you meet on your path. Each person holds a clue—like a scavenger hunt—you must be vigilant to watch, observe and learn from everyone in your path.

Who have you underestimated recently and how much is it costing you?

Jenn

Yesterday in the US was Memorial Day a celebration of all the fallen soldiers whom have protected and fought for democracy and the US. My grandfather fought in WWII, my father in law fought in Korea, and two of my friends Terry Miller and Max Carey fought in Vietnam.

I often ask myself--am I worth dying for?

Many people lost and are losing their lives so that I might lead a life full of possibility and freedom. I thank those whom I know and those whom I don't for enabling me the choice to be a successful business woman. No where on earth would I have the choices, the freedom, the voice I have.

I only hope that I do honor and justice for those who lost their lives so that I might have a full abundant one.

I encourage all of you to ask this question: are you worth dying for?

And may your thoughtfulness, discipline and gratitude make the answer YES.

Humbly,

Jenn

Last week I was lucky enough to meet and work with Lee Thayer author of Why Executives Fail and Leadership: Thinking, Being, Doing. Both of these are important reads for any leader. Thayer's strategy is to create breakthrough thinking through mental boxing matches. I was not prepared for such a mental game of rough blows. I noticed that I disagreed with many of Thayer's assumptions. I began to focus on how I would have answered questions had I been at the helm. I began to discredit Thayer's wisdom because I felt self-righteous. Then, I realized that I am better off in an audience when I don't know the truth about something. I am a better listener, better participant, better human being. When we think we have an idea of how things are supposed to be, we make terrible team members. When we truly need the information or perceive that we need it, we listen much much better. My point here is that prior knowledge can sometimes be dangerous. I found the second part of my day with Thayer much richer because I began tracking the questions that came up rather than how they were answered. The questions, after all, are what really matter.

My husband is working on becoming a world class bass fisherman. He often places better on lakes he has never fished on because he is relying on physics and the nature of the fish versus where the "fish were last time." I share my experience with Thayer in hopes that you will learn from my poor team participation--that you don't know what you think you do and sometimes prior knowledge gets in the way of true value creation.

Where can you focus more on the questions people are asking versus if they are getting the right answer?

Questions create more value,
Jenn